January 22, 2024

Coping with the Emotional Impact of Matric Results: Strategies for Handling Disappointment by an Educational Psychologist

Picture a scenario where all the effort, late-night study sessions, countless revisions, and the sacrifices you've endured culminate in one pivotal moment - the revelation of your matric examination results.
Yet, when that moment arrives, the reality doesn't align with your expectations. Instead of exuberance, you find yourself immobilized by a surge of disillusionment.
This situation becomes challenging due to a phenomenon known to scientists and psychologists as "cognitive dissonance."
Cognitive dissonance occurs when there's a disconnection between our beliefs, particularly our expectations of success, and the actual outcome. The mind attempts to reconcile these conflicting elements, but the inability to do so leads to psychological discomfort, manifesting as disappointment.
Furthermore, our self-worth is frequently intertwined with these outcomes. Specifically for the matriculation students of 2023, it's not merely a numerical score; it's a mirror reflecting one's value.
The surrounding social support structures may subtly (or overtly) tether these scores to your potential and identity, intensifying the stress.
So, how does one cope with this overwhelming sense of disappointment?
In a recent dialogue with Independent Media Lifestyle, Dr. Nombuso Gama, a respected educational psychologist, delves into the weight of anticipation and the sting of letdown accompanying the matriculation results' release.
"Academic accomplishments carry significant societal value, particularly matric results, which can feel like a pivotal moment for many students," elucidates Dr. Gama, who has recently extended her practice to TikTok under an initiative she proudly names "taking psychology to the streets." Her objective is to encourage open, therapeutic conversations, especially within the black community.
"I aim to spark a healing revolution through candid conversations," she declares.
The mix of emotions�excitement, anxiety, and anticipation�that accompanies matric results is a significant moment for learners, families, and educators alike. It's a time filled with high expectations and desires for success. However, the reality is that not everyone passes.
"It's an emotional roller coaster. Success brings joy, but conversely, dealing with disappointment can be quite challenging," explains Gama.
For those celebrating their achievements, Gama extends her warm congratulations. However, she has a special message for those facing results that fall short of expectations: "Remember, this is not the end. It's a setback, not a defeat. You have the opportunity to overcome this challenge next year."
She offers invaluable guidance for students grappling with disappointing matric results.
Here are a few essential points to consider:
"Even though there is a chance for a do-over, feeling stressed and disappointed in yourself is a normal feeling. Allow yourself to feel the pain and disappointment.
"It's perfectly natural to feel gutted," assures Gama. "Let yourself go through the agony, the sense of broken dreams, even the sting of letting people down. Feeling this pain is step one in healing."
Gama is no stranger to academic setbacks herself, adding a personal note to her professional insights.
"Believe it or not, I also failed Grade 11. But here I am years later, helping others," she revealed.
While it may feel like this is the end of the road, it actually isn't. It is a chance for you to be introspective. Honestly ask yourself which aspects you did not give your all in and how you can improve. Then focus on those parts going forward, she advised.
"All circumstances pass, so please do not be tempted to deal with this situation through permanent methods, such as suicide," she advised.
Gama's advice extends to parents, who might be struggling to manage their own disappointment.
"Your kid's already down. This isn't the time for 'I told you so'. What they need is your support.
"Parents also need to contain their disappointment. Please do not add to the pressure. Be there for your children - they are in a vulnerable state where your support or the lack of it can have detrimental effects on their lives," she said.
What's next? How do you build your life after this failure?
"Take this as your chance to start learning this process because your adulthood will come with many failures," said Gama.
She emphasized that recovering from academic setbacks requires the following steps:
1. Forgive Yourself: Regardless of whether your failure was partially your fault or not, it's time to release the negative feelings. Speaking and thinking negatively about yourself won't assist you at this point. Instead, focus on how to move forward.
2. Develop a Plan for Improvement: Sit down and devise a plan that will yield better results next time. Consider the frequency of your study sessions, the number of hours dedicated, and specific activities like reading, practicing past papers, or researching. Assess the tools and resources available to you.
3. Acknowledge the Team Effort: Succeeding in school is a collaborative effort. Teachers, family, and friends are there to help you progress. Consider returning to your school to request extra materials from teachers, seek resources from friends who have passed, and explore additional tutoring options.
4. Extract Lessons from the Experience: Treat every failure as an opportunity to learn. Identify areas for improvement, such as the need for more study time or the importance of seeking help when necessary.
5. Let People Talk: You cannot control what others say or ask about your matric performance. Instead of dwelling on external opinions, focus on securing your future.
6. Prioritize Mental Health: Taking care of your mental health is crucial during this time. Failing can evoke negative thoughts, but acknowledging that these thoughts aren't true can reduce stress. Mental well-being enables you to move forward and consider the next steps.
7. Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive individuals. Despite apparent disappointment, your parents and others are likely your strongest support system. Embrace their support and lean on them during challenging times.
8. Avoid Isolation: Resisting the urge to isolate yourself is essential. Hiding due to shame can lead to mental health challenges like depression. Stay connected with others to maintain a healthy perspective.
9. Journaling: Process your emotions by putting pen to paper. Write down your feelings about the failure, pour your heart out, and, once done, destroy the journal. This act symbolizes letting go of those emotions.
10. Practice Mindfulness: Redirect your focus from past failures to the present moment. Use deep breaths to center yourself and avoid fixating on past events. Give your dreams a second chance, approach them with more intentionality, and try again.